Poop!

It seems that if you lie you're gonna have to lie again. "What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." I've got a friend who lies for the hell of it. She thinks it makes her more interesting. In my experience honesty is almost always the best policy. I think that since I left home and went away to college I've made friends with a lot of pathological liars. I wonder why that is. Are there just a bunch of these people running around on college campuses?! Do I attract these kinds of people?!

Unfortunately it's led to my general level of suspicion being higher than perhaps it should be. My dad's wife has recently gotten a job selling RV's and campers. She works 6 days a week in an office with men her age and younger. My dad met her through work a number of years ago. My dad's health is starting to fail so the last time I talked to him I asked if he ever wondered if his wife might be looking into some other options around the office if he should up and die. He was a little bit pissed at the implication and proceeded to tell me that his brain doesn't work like that.

Did I overstep my bounds by implying that his wife might be thinking about her future? On one hand it's a great idea to be skeptical and doubting to try and save yourself from being fooled. On the other hand it must be nice to just have blind faith.

Today I articulated something for myself that I'd like to share with ya'll. Here it goes.

It seems to me, at least at this stage in the game and all those that have followed, that in normal everyday life for 'common' folks with 'common' jobs and lives there's probably a lot of secret keepin'. And for good reason I'm very sure! For instance, it might not serve a household's interest to divulge to their neighborhood that they voted for Kerry in the last election or depending on what state you live in (Red or Blue) the opposite scenario may be true for you. Another example might be something like your daughter being a lesbian (I guess the Bush administration is on my mind).

Anyways, on the flip side of reality...that realm that superstars and high ranking politicians inhabit is quite different now isn't it? It seems like if you achieve a certain level of notoriety that those things you may have once guarded or perhaps merely should've cease to matter. Granted, perhaps Michael Jackson would've liked to keep his fondness for sick touching of little boys a secret regardless of fame. None the less, publishers of the smut you see while you're paying for your groceries make lots of greenbacks because 'we' like to read about famous peoples' secrets. It undoubtedly adds to their fame! Therefore the equation might look something like this:

(secrets) + (silence) = x
(fame) - (secrets) = y
therefore,
x < y

hmmm...

I guess it matters whether x and y equal levels of greatness or importance or do they equal the volume of each in the world. If it is the latter than certainly the 'greater than' symbol would do a flip and become a 'less than' sign...right!?

Anyways...Have a great weekend everybody!!!!

The mythical existence of The Garden of Eden springs to mind when thinking about my new living situation. Birds of all kinds graze for worms while scruffy chipmunks and rabbits dart about. The peace of living alone and for the first time in years having cable TV have brought me to a new level. Since this is a "new" level I cannot yet go giving verbose examinations of my new surroundings. But in time, those will come I'm sure.

I get my license back this Friday! 13 months of restricted driving have finally come to an end. I'll be able to drive wherever, whenever even if it's 3am. I can't wait...

Well today is my last here at Mom's house. I'll be spending tonight in a house of my very own. I'm pretty much back on Central Time now. My step-dad has been outta town visiting his mom for the week; doing some work over there too. He'll be back any time now. Fortunately, my mom was kind enough to move my things over to the house with the help of a couple guys before I got back. I'm crossing my fingers that the former inhabitants might still be receiving cable as is common when moving in after someone else. I hope I can convince a friend or two to come over and have some fun.

Have a great weekend everybody!!!!!!

It might sound pompous to some but I'm genuinely curious how many lifetimes you've experienced. And no, I am not talking about reincarnation. How many times have you changed where you live? How many times have you started thinking about things differently than before? How many times have you fallen in love? How many times have you been reborn?
The term "reborn" makes me think about Christians who've dedicated their life to Jesus. That counts as a new lifetime in my book. But there are many other ways to start a new lifetime. It seems to me that a divorce might mark the end of one life and the start of a new one. Perhaps having kids is also like this. I think that people who make themselves available to travel for extended periods of time are tapping into the multiple lifetimes theory big time. Especially if you travel alone or with people you didn't know before. I'm afraid having someone die might mark the end of a lifetime not only for the deceased but for you too.
There's a sense of pride I have thinking back on the lifetimes I've both endured and enjoyed. Those I had to endure toughened me up though sometimes they never seemed to end. Those I enjoyed sometimes bring a tear to my eye. At my age I should be focused only on the 'bright' future that awaits but for some reason I'm more retrospective and sentimental than most.
I think it's important to respect people regardless of how many lifetimes they've lived. Whether it's an old maid in a small town in TX who's lived her entire life in the same house or some world-traveller type whose been married and divorced 3 times. These two ends of the spectrum as well as everyone inbetween all have something to offer. A piece of wisdom about life that might make you stop and think. Some insight that may help you on your way. Therefore I try to learn from everyone, regardless!

Another day...another round of laughs. Just imagining the shit that must be going down at my former workplace makes me smile this big proud smile. If I were around a stranger they'd undoubtedly catch me snickering to myself more than once a day. They'd say something like, "Hey, what's so funny?" I'd offer them my home page's address and encourage them to read it. That way they'd get all the background they could possibly need on why I'm finding life particularly amusing right now.
I was stuck for 5 months in a hostile working and living environment I hadn't the money to escape from. Granted, 'it wasn't my first rodeo' as the cowboy truckers like to say. I also got to see a part of the world most people like myself haven't. I spent New Year's in Seoul and well, that's a story unto itself. The experience wasn't all bad but now that I'm back I sure hope my former employer is finding himself in one bad spot.

I lost my license just under a year ago. In 17 days I'll be 'alive' again! Until then I'm stuck just watching time slip away. It was April 23rd of last year...it was a Sunday. I'd just gotten off the road and had a bank full of money. Since I was bored and lonely I decided to take the bottle of liquor that'd been sitting in my passenger's seat and go check out the strip clubs. I started early and before I knew it I was leaving my third club close to midnite. I decided not to take the interstate for fear of the 'full-growns' (state troopers). I figured that since it was a lazy Sunday night the rich side of town would offer me easy sailing all the way home. As I passed an important park and landmark in this city of mine I saw the cops waiting for me at a roadblock. I made a last second decision to make a withdrawal at an ATM about a block before the roadblock. As I stood fumbling in front of the ATM an African-American officer in his late 40's or early 50's approached me and asked for my license. He asked if I'd come talk to him when I got done at the ATM. I said "Sure." After a few more minutes I got in the car and drove into the parking lot they'd taken over just next door. I pondered where the best place to put my oz. of weed might be and since I didn't think I was drunk I thought my pocket would be a great place for it. He asked me if I'd been drinking...I said "Yeah, but not much and I stopped a couple hours ago." He administered some field sobriety tests which I think I nailed. He asked me to put my hands behind my back and put on the cuffs. I was very calm and accommodating the entire time. He searched my pockets and found the weed. What was there for me to say? I just stared at the ground. He put me in his car and off we went. I spent the night in jail and had to be locked in a room with about 8 guys, one of whom was certifiably nuts. He was talking to himself and touching himself. What a way to have your buzz wear off! The next morning I had to have my mom come bail me out. She was surprisingly calm and understanding her darn self. A buddy of mine gave me the name of a lawyer who used to be a cop who now does brisk business given his 'insider' status and knowledge. He also spent some time as the liaison between the DA and the police department. In addition, after he earned his law degree he spent some time training soon-to-be cops at the academy in legal parlance.
I got lucky and a month later when I went to court I got the weed charge dropped which by the way was a felony! And never at any time did anyone even think about asking me where I'd gotten it which was a relief. The whole thing cost me pretty as it's designed to. This was a major reason why I left the country to go teach English. But as summer grew near and my probationary period of license suspension draws to a close I decided to leave my hell-ish situation in South Korea and come runnin' home.
It's soooo good to be back. It makes my appreciation of being an American all the more great. "USA numbah 1!"

There were three legs on my 18 hour trip home. I sat next to 3 different and nice people who didn't talk too much but instead just the right amount. United Airlines forgot to put my checked bags on my final leg so I had to come back to the airport 4 hours later to pick them up. When they finally rolled out on the belt one of them was taped together but still a gaping space of about half a foot showed my contents to anyone who happened to look.
I got a little pissed and did a quick inventory check. Fortunately and unbelievably hardly anything was missing. Just a cassette I can replace and a talisman woven in S. Korea that I had planned to attach to my new cell phone. Other than that everything was there. I'd bought a pipe and they chipped the mouthpiece which pisses me off but the chip isn't dire.
It's 6pm in S. Korea and I wonder if they've gone in my room to find I've left or if they think I am just skipping work today. I'd be starting one of my better classes right now if I were still there but I'm not...lol!!!
Yesterday was Mother's Day and I enjoyed a pleasant afternoon with Mom and Grandma. I got to eat the best damn Mexican food I've had in months. It was delicious! I ate so much I had to go for a walk. I went to a grocery store nearby and happened to run into a local newscaster. I said, "Hey! You're on the news." She said, "Yes, my name is Cynthia. What's your name?" I shook her hand and told her it was nice to meet her. Later on I trimmed the hedges at Grandma's while Mom mowed. Grandma was in a pleasant state.
I guess I'm going to keep blogging on this site. I've changed my profile including my location.
ENJOY!!

I got hungry walking around shopping so a number of alleys were dominated by small food serving establishments. So I walked by two dozen and turned up my nose. Finally I walked through an alley that had individual old ladies standing behind a little counter, each seperate from the next. Each lady had 3 little stools in front of her low counter table and pots of unmentionable eats taking up half the table you were to sit at. I passed a grandmother, mother and a grandson sitting at one old lady's table and one of them had a little bowl of rice and some kind of brown bean. I like rice and beans so I took a seat. After saying "no" to half a dozen things she pushed in front of me I finally got a good little bowl of rice and beans. I asked for salt and she sprinkled some sea salt over the bowl with her fingers. I ate it and it was okay. By the way I didn't get a damn thing to drink. So I get done eating and am thirsty as hell. She points at a small menu nailed to a supporting beam with only four items on it in Korean. The most expensive is 4,000 won ($4). I begrudgingly give her a 10,000 won note since that was all I had and she gave me 6,000 won in change. As I stood up I was becoming enraged at getting soo totally ripped off. Knowing that publicly shaming someone is the ultimate insult here in Korea I started telling her very loudly how horrible her food was and how much I disliked it. I made a thumbs down sign and said boo several times. At first she tried to laugh it off but I persisted. She just stared...eager for me to leave no doubt. I left the alley and found a drink vendor. I bought myself a bottle of water. I decided to go puke in front of her table. I walked back to the alley and up to her table. I started to induce vomitting. I don't need to use my fingers. I just stand there with my head pointing at the ground and start gagging without any outside stimulus. So after a few gags...I'm a little hesitant because puking isn't fun; the old lady reaches in her pocket and gives me back my 4,000 won. I take it rudely and immediately depart. As I step onto the street and out of the alley there was a nice big smile on my face. "I think I should try that trick more often" I say to myself.

Well whadaya know??? Wednesday, yesterday, was the last day of the work week since today, Thursday, is a national holiday in honor of children called "Children's Day." Since I teach Korean children I have no desire to celebrate this yearly occasion yet as I write this, I find myself surrounded by a row on either side of loud crazy little kids playing a cart racing game. Tomorrow, Friday, is a day off for me because my current employer deemed it thus. Luckily, the banks will be open and I'll be able to wake up and go cash this check I got for 1 million won ($1,000). I usually get paid cash. Sometimes they throw a check for 100,000 won ($100) or two into the envelope but this is the first time I've gotten one for a million. I make 1.9 million won per month and get a free apartment to live in. After taxes and utilities are taken out I'm usually left with about 1.7 million won ($1,700). We get paid once a month.
Anyways, unbeknownst to anyone in S. Korea, including my flatmate and co-worker Michelle, my bitch supervisor 'Sunny,' the dick owner Mr. Kim, the annoying religious girl from New Zealand or any of the Korean women who are also my co-workers I unceremoniously QUIT last night!!!!!!! Yup...I won't be there on Monday and I hope their business goes belly up. I'm taking a flight outta this country on Saturday...assuming the check cashes first thing tomorrow morning (UPDATE: IT CASHED!!!). Fuck 'em in the neck as my dad likes to say from time to time. They deserve it soooooo bad!!! You have noooo idea.

I'm not sure if I will continue to update it or not. I might start another blog. If so...I might provide a link on this page that will direct you to the new blog. We'll see...time will tell.
And remember...S. Korea SUCKS!!!!

I've been meaning to write this blog for a couple days now but everytime I sit down to write I forget what it was I wanted to write about. Anyways, a couple days ago it was a beautiful spring day. It was a Sunday and I decided to go for a nice long walk since I won't be here much longer. I walked down some streets I hadn't seen and checked out some shops I'd never noticed. Just a pleasant stroll as it were.
So to give you some background, the restaurants here all have large aquariums in front of their business. Depending on the type of food sold there, a literal plethora of water creatures can be found chilling out before they're eventually plucked from their temporary home and eaten...often raw and still writhing. Common animals to see in these holding tanks are fish, of course, as well as eels, HUGE monster crabs, mussels and clams of all varieties and sizes, big nasty sea worms as well as octopus. I like tapping on the glass and making these creatures move around.
So I was about to cross the street at a very large and busy intersection when I noticed that a man was selling stuff out of the back of his truck parked right there on the side of the street. He reached in a styrofoam cooler like container and out came a middle sized octopus dangling in the wind...its arms going every which way. I decided to go over and ask if I could hold it. I'd never touched an octopus before...at least not a living one. He let me hold it but he was in a bad mood so after a brief encounter with my first octopus I handed it back to him.
About a half hour later I saw some tanks in front of a restaurant. They were all filled to the brim. The restaurant must've just gotten a delivery or something. Anyways, one of the tanks was full of baby octopus. I'd guess there were about 100 of them in there. I was just standing and staring at them when a woman inside opened the window and looked at me as if to say "what are you doing?" I smiled and pointed at all the octopus. She came out of the restaurant and opened the lid. She invited me to reach in and grab one. So I got to touch another octopus and it was cool. The suckers on their legs can really hold on pretty damn tight. I was letting it sit in the palm of my hand and it decided it'd had enough so it went from limp and scared to picking itself up with alien like movement and jumping out of my hand and back into the water. It felt weird to have something so fluid and smooshy all of a sudden take shape and start walking and indeed, jumping (!!!) right in the palm of my hand.
I want to get an aquarium and have a couple octopus in it. I think that'd be cool. They're the weirdest creatures I believe I've ever encountered. Here in S. Korea they like to take them straight outta the water and cut them to shreds with scissors. They love to eat the still writhing arms right then and there. I wonder if they can feel the arms squirming around in their intestines. I should try it for myself and see but I like octopus too much I'm afraid to eat one.
Take care!!!

"I love the wind," I declared late on Friday afternoon to my flatmate and co-worker Michelle as I sat at my desk looking out the window. My mind started wandering as it has a tendency to do and before I knew it I was recalling a scary run I made not so long ago. You see, I spent my final year of college abroad attending classes in Brussels Belgium. I had no idea what I was going to do when I returned. While there, the war in Iraq started so the prospect of becoming an officer in a peace-time military was no longer an option. I had a drop-out buddy/roommate in college (who coincidentally is graduating this May from Penn State with a degree in MATHEMATICS!!!) who used to say he might end up becoming a truck driver. Well, sitting in Brussels, I decided I'd become a trucker when I came home; BA degree in hand.
Sure enough, that's exactly what I did! I spent $5,000 on a truck driving school that taught me the basics and helped me get hired by one of the leading companies in the industry: Werner Enterprises out of Omaha Nebraska. Before I knew it I had six months under my belt and was eligible to become a trainer! My dispatcher who I later replaced with a male dispatcher suggested I become a trainer because she thought I was "very articulate."
I spent 15 months on the road seeing my beloved country. Living in my truck, often with a student at least 10 years my senior. I saw a lot and did a lot. I'm damn sure I've gotten drunk at more road-side pubs than anyone of my buddies. I saved a shit load of money too! Being a trainer I was taking home upwards of a grand a week. Good money for a 25 year old just outta college with a BA!!!
Anyways, I remember a load for Sears I was delivering in Wyoming. The trailer was only a quarter of the way full. I had some washers and dryers and maybe a refridgerator or two. All of it was loaded right in the front end of the trailer. Well sir; I had two deliveries the next morning in central and north-western Wyoming and as I entered Wyoming from the East side the sign above the interstate warned me that heavy winds were only going to get worse and that vehicles such as mine should pull off ASAP. I ignored the warning since I had two appointments early the next morning. My trailer was being blown so hard by wind out of the North that it was riding a foot over the dotted yellow line into the Westbound passing lane. Luckily the interstate was rather empty. I remember talking to some old drivers on my CB radio and they told me to move my tandems all the way to the back. I pulled off for a 10 minute pit-stop and moved my tandems all the way back.
Once, the trailor actually lifted up off it's right side and was rolling only on its left side tires!! Needless to say, I was scared to death. That night had yet another challenge in store. I pulled off at the proper exit to take the state highway north toward my first stop. I proceeded to drive about 100 miles due North.
After driving North for an hour or two, it was time to turn left (West) onto another state highway. After only 20 minutes or so of Westward driving I found myself in the worst blizzard I've ever witnessed; much less driven through. The snow was coming down so hard it was blowing completely horizontally in a Southern direction. I couldn't see 5 feet in front of my truck and it was night time! When a strong gust came, I couldn't even see the front of my truck's hood.
I pushed on at about 20 mph for what seemed like forever. I finally came to a rest area where other cars and a few trucks had chickened out and pulled over for the night. I got on the radio and was trying to find out when the blizzard might clear since my early morning appointment was very important to me. After a couple hours someone finally answered me and instruced me to take the highway North right past the rest stop where I'd been parked. He told me that after a couple miles going North that I'd come over a ridge and descend into the valley where my first delivery was and that things were totally clear there.
I took his word for it, released my airbrakes and headed North. Sure enough, before I knew it I pulled over the crest of the ridge and whadya know...it was all clear. Just the rare snowflake! I could see for what seemed like miles for the first time in hours. I could see the lights of the small city where I had my first delivery early the next morning. I was soooo relieved! You don't even know...
So, in closing, wind is both a blessing and a curse for some.