Poop!

I got hungry walking around shopping so a number of alleys were dominated by small food serving establishments. So I walked by two dozen and turned up my nose. Finally I walked through an alley that had individual old ladies standing behind a little counter, each seperate from the next. Each lady had 3 little stools in front of her low counter table and pots of unmentionable eats taking up half the table you were to sit at. I passed a grandmother, mother and a grandson sitting at one old lady's table and one of them had a little bowl of rice and some kind of brown bean. I like rice and beans so I took a seat. After saying "no" to half a dozen things she pushed in front of me I finally got a good little bowl of rice and beans. I asked for salt and she sprinkled some sea salt over the bowl with her fingers. I ate it and it was okay. By the way I didn't get a damn thing to drink. So I get done eating and am thirsty as hell. She points at a small menu nailed to a supporting beam with only four items on it in Korean. The most expensive is 4,000 won ($4). I begrudgingly give her a 10,000 won note since that was all I had and she gave me 6,000 won in change. As I stood up I was becoming enraged at getting soo totally ripped off. Knowing that publicly shaming someone is the ultimate insult here in Korea I started telling her very loudly how horrible her food was and how much I disliked it. I made a thumbs down sign and said boo several times. At first she tried to laugh it off but I persisted. She just stared...eager for me to leave no doubt. I left the alley and found a drink vendor. I bought myself a bottle of water. I decided to go puke in front of her table. I walked back to the alley and up to her table. I started to induce vomitting. I don't need to use my fingers. I just stand there with my head pointing at the ground and start gagging without any outside stimulus. So after a few gags...I'm a little hesitant because puking isn't fun; the old lady reaches in her pocket and gives me back my 4,000 won. I take it rudely and immediately depart. As I step onto the street and out of the alley there was a nice big smile on my face. "I think I should try that trick more often" I say to myself.