Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Cutting Loose
"bye for now" the subject line read. Off to la cosa nostra son. Won't be talking for awhile. Ciao!
The road down to that part of Baja is windy and mountainous. There are armed guards at checkpoints who can "confiscate" whatever they wish.
Here at "home" the nazis and bikers are raging pissed off having climbed my family tree. The extent of damage is unknown but I know this for sure: The library from where I've been posting is reading my ramblings. They spent 4 hours thumbing through my text as a matter of fact. I wonder what recourse I have.
The distance I have felt in my dad's voice recently comes as a surprise. The empty 'hellos' give me a little cause to worry. If I had to venture a guess, I'd say he's letting go because he has cancer and doesn't want me to miss him so bad when he really isn't there any more. But I should be happy. For the last year or two we've communicated wonderfuly and for those times, he will be missed; really and truly.
I have also lost a friend I'm afraid. Not the father I've been babbling about but rather a clown. A female clown. The whole thing came crumbling to an end just the other nite. I went to visit her at the circus and suddenly she's a catholic, suddenly her cat has cancer, suddenly her husband has kicked her out while he goes out of town leaving her without a key.
I think my co-worker found her and changed the course we were on. Oh well. It's really for the best but my pathetic attempts have now certainly failed. But that's why I went to the circus in the first place. I knew there was no future there for us. Only her. That's why I chose her to be my friend. There I am reminded of the inescapable truth that female clowns are constantly being propositioned by men with more to offer than myself. Most of the time, a female will allow you to think you've won her over and with time call you her 'one and only'. But in truth, she is being constantly bombarded with better offers; at least if you're me they are. So what the hell? Why not just find a real clown??? That's what I did and it has lasted me almost 6 months. Not bad. And what makeup! What a show! Some women who don't work at the circus could eat up twice as much of my life without ever making me laugh. So I think it was worth it.
The road down to that part of Baja is windy and mountainous. There are armed guards at checkpoints who can "confiscate" whatever they wish.
Here at "home" the nazis and bikers are raging pissed off having climbed my family tree. The extent of damage is unknown but I know this for sure: The library from where I've been posting is reading my ramblings. They spent 4 hours thumbing through my text as a matter of fact. I wonder what recourse I have.
The distance I have felt in my dad's voice recently comes as a surprise. The empty 'hellos' give me a little cause to worry. If I had to venture a guess, I'd say he's letting go because he has cancer and doesn't want me to miss him so bad when he really isn't there any more. But I should be happy. For the last year or two we've communicated wonderfuly and for those times, he will be missed; really and truly.
I have also lost a friend I'm afraid. Not the father I've been babbling about but rather a clown. A female clown. The whole thing came crumbling to an end just the other nite. I went to visit her at the circus and suddenly she's a catholic, suddenly her cat has cancer, suddenly her husband has kicked her out while he goes out of town leaving her without a key.
I think my co-worker found her and changed the course we were on. Oh well. It's really for the best but my pathetic attempts have now certainly failed. But that's why I went to the circus in the first place. I knew there was no future there for us. Only her. That's why I chose her to be my friend. There I am reminded of the inescapable truth that female clowns are constantly being propositioned by men with more to offer than myself. Most of the time, a female will allow you to think you've won her over and with time call you her 'one and only'. But in truth, she is being constantly bombarded with better offers; at least if you're me they are. So what the hell? Why not just find a real clown??? That's what I did and it has lasted me almost 6 months. Not bad. And what makeup! What a show! Some women who don't work at the circus could eat up twice as much of my life without ever making me laugh. So I think it was worth it.
