Poop!

I tried something new today after running into more Korean prejudice. I was at a major underground arcade of sorts trying to find a CD/DVD for a new song that's been released which also runs as an ad for a type of cell phone currently on the market. I saw the DVD being played a week ago on a big TV that was for sale. After hitting the record stores and having no luck I followed the advice of a few and tried the stores/kiosks that sell the cell phones. I got the run around and after 5 stores or so (they're everywhere) I started to get pissed. They kept telling me to go here and go there but in the end I was just going around in circles for their entertainment I have no doubt. I took the subway home and whistled the National Anthem (of America) to annoy my fellow passengers. Once out of the subway station I made my way through an immense park that is between my apartment and the station. I started telling people I passed "USA...#1!!" Some ignored me. Some wanted to argue and say that Korea was "numba wun!" I explained that Korea is actually number 12 if we're going by the size of the economy; a fact that used to make me admire this country which has come so far, so fast. "No, no, no," one man said in contempt "USA is numba twelve." As I approached the end of the park portion of my walk home I saw a couple on a blanket enjoying the arriving evening cool. The man was Korean and well built. The woman he was with was young, pretty, white and severely pregnant. I looked at them and decided to see what they'd think of my proclamation. The woman smiled but her boyfriend/husband seemed really annoyed and tried to play it off like he knew that what I was saying wasn't true. Though it IS! So I repeated my taunt a couple more times as I continued to walk since I received nothing but looks from the two. The final time I said it, the Korean guy seemed as though he was about to jump up and possibly try to kick my ass. That would've been interesting and made for one helluva better story.
So if you ever come to Korea and want to piss people off I suggest this as a rather innocent way of doing so. Another thing to do when they start treating you like you're stupid is to tell them very loudly in front of everyone that they are "very clevah!" Say "You very clevah!!!" and "You sooo clevah!!!" Repeat as necessary until the proper amount of rage is seen in the eyes of the Korean you are mocking. Enjoy!!!!